Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Crap. I'm one step away from a Snuggie.

     I have always loved lounging in a comfy, cozy, baggy pair of sweatpants. This has long been my standard uniform for vegging out at end of a long day, during which I was dressed like any respectable adult. The problem is, now I have Mommy Sweatpants Syndrome or MMS. I wear sweats everyday, all day, 24/7, morning noon and night. I even try to dress them up when I wear them in public by donning expensive accessories, hoping this will somehow make them socially acceptable.  I think my poor husband is less than thrilled that I've contracted MSS.
Examples of celebrity moms with MSS, one of those Teen Moms (they all blend together in my mind) and Britney Spears. You can tell Britney has a bad case by her lack of a bra in public.
      The excessive sweatpants wearing began when I was pregnant. After seeing too many moms I knew fall victim to MSS I went into my pregnancy announcing "I will never be one of those pregnant women who give up trying to look like a civilized humans. I'm going to make all you other mommies-to-be wish you looked this good!" I mean if Victoria Beckham, who is WAY OLDER than me, can look that good incubating her offspring, why can't I?
Eat your heart out Victoria!                               
I tried, I really did. After keeping my regular pants on using the hair rubber band trick stopped working, around the five month mark, I shopped at all the trendy preggers stores and boutiques. I watched Entertainment Tonight and read the trashy mags to see what the power moms of Hollywood wore when they were expecting. I bought clothes from Hiedi Klums maternity line. I bought a pair of designer maternity jean that cost more than any pair of jeans I had ever bought. The sales lady told me after my pregnancy I could have the ever so sexy elastic waist band replaced with a regular one and keep wearing them, SOLD! How can I lose? "I'm going to be the cutest pregnant chick ever!" Then I gained over fifty pounds on an already not-so-slim bod. Alright, slight set back, I didn't foresee having a forty pound baby or ever wanting to eat that much ice cream, but I can still be adorable! It turns out not all dreams are meant to come true. Once I stopped being able to squeeze my swollen feet into flip flops, I gave my designer maternity jeans the bird and slipped into my trusty sweatpants. There would be time to achieve fashion greatness after my daughter was born, I was so naive. Baby Girl came along and it turned out she was not forty pounds, not even close. So while I learned how to be a mom to a newborn and strategized on how I was going to get rid of the excess me that had been created by Ben & Jerry's and my c-sec, I fell back on my trusty sweatpants.

     Now we're almost sixteen months out from when my daughter came along and I'm back to fitting into most of my old clothes. In fact, I weight less now than I did around the time I got pregnant. Baby Girl is getting to be pretty independent at times, allowing me the occasional free moment in which I could do my hair and makeup and put on real grown up clothes but I rarely do and I've run out of excuses for why I don't. Granted, being a stay at home mom takes away most of the motivating factors to seek treatment for my Mommy Sweatpants Syndrome. I don't exactly feel the need to dress to impress when the only people around to impress are usually covered in a thin film of peanut butter and snot or dresses in grease covered work clothes, but perhaps I need that take a stand against my MSS, to make me feel better about myself. So that the neighbors stop saying I "must be artsy", by which I assume they mean "you damn dirty hippie!" So I can stand tall (presumably I'll be wearing heels) and proclaim "I can be fashionable and a mom! I can be what I've always dreamt of!" For now the dream will have to wait, I have to fold a giant load of laundry, it's made up mostly of sweatpants.


  1. Kira, you are so funny! It IS so hard to get something cute but functional when chasing kids around! I love this blog-Jill is so cute and stylish without being over the top. She is an active mom and I check her out ALL the time. She was actually the first blog I really started following. You have to check her out you dirty hippie!


    Kim @ Too Much Time

  2. Thanks Kim, I'll check her out, I could use some cute and stylish inspiration! Oh, and in reference to what you said in your email about " feel like I am "doing" something", I know what you mean all to well!

  3. this is great! i too made the same vow but with only say 1 one-hour slot to myself in the AM, i realized i'm never going to workout if i keep doing my hair and make up and if i don't feel sexy then why fake it, so i have decided to succumb to MSS because you have to workout in sweatpants anyway and will be taking a break from faking sexy in order to feel sexy :)